Post Feast Frenzy

I won't lie to you.

I did get up early and snag a holiday deal.

But the price of that gaming system was way too steep without the sale that came with waking up at 5am, so I digress.

But only after my workout, and after I ate a balanced breakfast so I'd have the energy to handle today.

I've had 4 days off from my day job, and today it's back to the Corporate Grind for me. I'm not ready. I'd rather stay in my jammies and drink endless cups of hot tea or cocoa. The wind is blowing sideways outside and there's snow and ice mixed into it. Not my favorite winter weather, much preferring the gentle lazy tumble of fat snowflakes to this blustering bitter stuff.

Here in the next week, the site will be down for a few days while I make changes and adjustments and add new features. Some things will be going away COMPLETELY, while others will simply be moved around. A lot of the vibe on this site is going to be changing. Color schemes and layouts, information sections, images, and in general the whole ass mood is going to change. It's going to feel a whole lot more like me.

Somewhere along the way with my building of this site I was reaching for something, but I couldn't nail it down. I ended up settling for a lot of things I didn't want and just made do with it because I was tired of fighting with it. I settled for a lot I didn't like or want when I was building out the site, with the site, my workouts, and my life in general. And I'm just done with that.

I'm done settling when I'm dissatisfied.

I'm done being put on the back burner because someone doesn't see my vision.

Or doesn't think I'm enough.

Or because someone doesn't see room for me at their table.

I'm fully devoted to my Villain Era right now, and that means not giving up or giving in to someone else's desire to take advantage of me and what I provide. I'm not doing that anymore. I'm not going to be nice so someone will find me easier to get along with. I'm not going to shrink so I can be more digestible. I'm not going to dim myself so anyone else can shine.

Use whatever metaphor or analogy you need to, but the point is I'm digging in my fucking heels on this one.

I've spent a lot of my life as a people pleaser, always trying to find connection. But I don't need to lessen myself so that I be an ideal for someone. They can find less somewhere else. I'm looking for people who are aligned with me and my goals and my ideals. I'm looking for people who are ready to set their world on fire so they can come out of the ashes like the Dragon they are. People who are done settling for mediocrity and want only the best for themselves and whoever they bring along for the ride.

It's time I stepped tf up into my Crown. I'm feeling it today.