Novice 2.0 Day 34: Valkyrie Yoga & Mindstilling
Yesterday was my son’s 5th birthday, so the evening was pretty busy. I was grateful for not being super sore, since we were a bit busy with our family party. Parties and the foods that are typically part of them tend to stress me out, and I didn’t want to also be dealing with a sore body.
Photo by Markus Spiske on Pexels.com
My relationship with food has been strained for all of my life, bouncing between starving myself and binge eating because I’d never be skinny anyway, so birthday parties always put a little extra stress on me because I’m surrounded by those foods that I would binge relentlessly in my past. While I don’t binge eat or starve myself these days, there’s still an awareness when those plates of food surround me. I dutifully kept my water bottle full and in my hand the whole night, and any time I had any thoughts about those old habits I’d drink more water. I took Mindstilling Breaths and thought about all the progress I’ve made, both in my physical activity and in my disordered eating. I let the thoughts and memories of binge eating at parties crash into me and then recede. I reminded myself that today, I fit into those too tight jeans and they were pretty comfortable. I drank my water and packed all the food up and put it away, out of sight out of mind. Triumphant, that I didn’t binge eat a ton of food and feel gross upon waking.
I went to bed desiring nothing but good solid rest, and alas I did not get it. My youngest kept waking up needing me, and then someone was up at 3am in the bathroom next to my bedroom, shuffling around and making noise. I live with family members, and evidently 3am was prime time to scrub the bathroom; waking me through the thin walls of this old house, and keeping me awake until they decided they were done.
So with such crappy disturbed sleep, you can imagine that when my kids were up and shouting at who was going to play with with what, bright and early at 7am, I was less than enthusiastic. In fact I had a headache, my neck hurt from trying to burrow under my pillows and hide from the noises of an apparently restless night for everyone. It’s gray and cloudy and windy outside, another storm moving in, causing some inflammation throughout my body, and the aches that come with it. Grumpy as I was, I dragged my mat out and began doing Valkyrie Yoga 3. I knew that if I just moved around a bit, watched my breath a bit, I would be able to sort myself out.
Today is meant to be a rest day, and not even Valkyrie Yoga is on the books for today in Novice, but since I’ve spiced it up a bit, I’ve added in Valkyrie Yoga 3 to pair with my 6k steps and Mindstilling. I’m thinking I may require a nap this afternoon too, judging by how exhausted I already am.
Yesterday in the Discord, one of my Valkyrie Sisters replied to my workout post and told me that she “Low key keeps coming back to Novice to check on me.” And it filled my heart. While I keep getting little confidence boosts during each workout because I can see and feel the difference in my form, in my ability to complete the routines, there’s still this little voice in the back of my head that snarls at me regularly; that I’ve been left behind, pushed to the back of line, because I’m not strong enough or good enough to move onto Blade. Hearing from one of my fellow Valkyries that I began Squad with, that she’s watching my progress, watching my posts, reminded me that Valkyries don’t leave their sisters behind. They keep shouting their praises, pushing each other to be their best, do their best, and to win the whole damn thing. And I am one of them. I am a Valkyrie, too.
Just typing that up made me feel a warmth spread in my chest, touch my bones. We are all on different paths, coming from different places and backgrounds, and we are all cheering each other on. I can’t wait for the day I get to hug my Valkyrie Sisters. Maybe by next year sometime.
Yrsa is making a plethora of strange noises at my feet, groaning her impatience at me because I’m still in my jammies and are now hours behind our walking schedule. She is an absolute beast, groaning and growling and snapping her jaws at me in stubborn dog speech. I suppose I should get dressed now and get out there, maybe the fresh air will help with my headache. I think some Walking on the Sidra Mindstilling is necessary.
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