Another Amazing Year
Cue Playlist on Repeat
This is the playlist that got me through this year. There've been a lot of ups and downs. It's been interesting for sure, but I'd be remiss if I didn't mention all the changes.
Consider this my Year End Review, my 2024 Recap as we enter the last few weeks of the year.
And yeah, I know we haven't hit christmas yet, I know Winter Solstice is this weekend. But I'm so proud of myself and all the healing I did. All the growth. I have to go over it a hundred times before the new year flips over.
I had a health scare a year ago that landed in me in a tight spot, and I had to have a procedure to get me out of the hot seat. This set me back from workouts for at least 6 weeks afterwards, and I struggled with my mental health. All the while I was working on my cookbook and my website and trying to figure out who I was and what I wanted from my journey. What I wanted from myself.
Right in the middle of this health scare, we moved out of the narcissistic aunt's house and into a house that belonged to a friend for a few months. It was the respite I needed. I needed the break, I needed the time to heal from my procedure and put my mental health back into priority. I got to focus on my website and my cookbook. I finally published my cookbook online!And I rebranded my website for the second time. I was so proud of myself and so happy. It was such a nice reprieve... but it came with strings that were pulled often and into tight little knots.
So we moved out again in May. Into a giant 12ft tall 23ft round Canvas Tent on my property, with a woodstove and a kitchen set up. Because rentals in the area are 2k every 4 days from April to September, such is life in a tourist driven town.
I quit Valkyrie Squad. I had to because of our circumstances. I mourned the podcast meetings, the daily goof offs in discord, and the inspiring stories of my fellow Valkyries. My heart hurt for weeks, but... my mind had cleared a bit. I had been struggling behind the scenes, and while I had discussed it with a few people, my issues were my own and not anything I could really get help for. I was in a spiral and my workouts weren't pulling me out of it, and neither was the mindstilling. I had to find another way out, so I left.
And with all these changes... it was peaceful.
None of us were stressed with this lifestyle for the summer. We loved listening to the rain on the roof. We loved hearing the frogs in the wetlands next door and the birds every morning, the neighbors rooster going off at 6:30am to remind us that there was a day to begin. It was simple. We got up with nature, had a fire and a hearty breakfast, campfire cocoa and tea, and got up to frolic in our woods and spend the day how we wanted to. My husband was working at a farm down the street for a while and we lived like the feral hobbits we really are at heart.
Every other day we showered at the local gym and rec center, or we went to the State Park with our park pass and spent the day in the sunshine, playing in the sun and the water, and cleaning up before going home to a campfire and smores. I sold over 20 copies of my cookbook within the first 2 months it was out!
At the end of May, we had a little tax money leftover and decided to take a family trip south to get some air. Make some memories, and decompress. We went down to Georgia for the week, hit up the Renaissance festival, The Aquarium, the Zoo, and toodled around the area to have some fun on our own terms. I saw Sam when I was down there, and I was thinking about Valkyrie Squad the whole time I was down there, and if coming back was a good idea.
Something in me said it wasn't. That I had stuff to do on my own. There was something in the back my mind that nudged me whenever I thought about returning. Reminding me that I was doing a lot of work for someone else, and neglecting myself.
When I left Valkyrie Squad, I had said I would maybe be back by June.. but June came and went. And I was nowhere near closer to figuring out what I needed. My brain was still a disaster and I was working out but still feeling like I wasn't doing anything right, and like I couldn't figure myself tf out.
July held my wedding Anniversary, and my birthday. And a lot of financial struggle. I ended up starting a day job on my birthday. It was a good gift, a stable paycheck at a job I had fun with was what I needed to remind me that I wasn't failing.
It was a win I desperately needed.
I've always been a very driven person. When Life is using a catapult to throw me nothing but lemons, I get to work making all the lemon things. Lemonade, Lemon Tart, Lemon Bars, Lemon Cookies.
Since I got that day job, my confidence has soared.
I get up and workout at least 5 - 7 days a week.
I eat a high protein breakfast every day, usually twice a day.
I hit my Macros regularly, only occasionally falling below my mark.
I signed up for more classes, being certified as a Nutritionist has moved mountains for me.
I upped my weights, for upper body and lower body reps.
I signed my first two clients, one strictly online and one in person.
I've rebuilt my website, again, to feel more like me. I love it so much more this time around.
I've built out 4 new programs I'm releasing in 2025, I'm working on recording them so I can load them onto my platform.
And I'm not done.
I have so much more to bring to the table, some things that I'm sure I've not even figured out yet.
I've learned that I am most myself, my real self, when I'm working away from home. When I have one foot in my masculine and one in my feminine and I have that balance. Where I'm Mother and Wife and Lover and Friend when I'm home, and I'm also Entrepreneur, Sales Woman, Fitness Content Creator, Cannabis Enthusiast and Budtender when I'm out and about.
Having that divide, and also that balance, has been vital to me. My husband has noticed it too- the increase in my confidence, my energy, my personality coming out to play more often.
2024 has been a wild ride. I intend on making 2025 even better.
Comments